A Christmas Kiss… Knots or Flutters?

Serendipitous moments never cease to amaze me!  This past Saturday was one of those chance happenings in my life.  When I woke up, there was a beautiful snowfall outside my window.  It was the type of snow that makes you want to either hit the ski slopes or snuggle in, grab a cup of coffee, and just dream about life.  My children were at their father’s house, and I had a Christmas party to attend that evening.  As I walked downstairs at 7:00 a.m., I was planning my day to be spent cleaning house, listening to Christmas music, and wrapping presents.  I had to start getting ready for the party at 5:00, so I had 10 hours to accomplish my task list.

Christmas kiss 2As the coffee was brewing, I turned on all the Christmas lights throughout my home and went to turn on the large flat screen to play Pandora Christmas music.  As I flipped on the TV, Netflix flashed across the screen.  I am not a TV watcher at all, so I was surprised it was on in the first place.  I was about to arrow over to Pandora when something caught my eye in the Instant Queue.  It said, “A Christmas Kiss.”  Now, I have no idea how it got in that queue, but the little voice inside me told me to hit the button to play.  Watching a movie on a Saturday morning in Laurie Calzada’s world is unheard of!  I figured I would get 5 minutes in and then flip over to Pandora and start my day’s activities.  I grabbed my coffee and omelet that I had made and snuggled into my recliner with my grandmother’s quilt and my cat on my lap.

As the movie started, you could tell it wasn’t a best seller of all time, but something made me watch it.  The essence of the story line is that a man of great stature, Adam, is struggling with his relationship with a rather bitchy prestigious woman, Priscilla.  As Adam is pondering whether to propose to Priscilla, he goes and sits in the deserted auditorium of the playhouse that his family foundation runs.  As they are prepping for The Nutcracker, Charlie, an older gentleman who works at the theater, comes on the stage to do something.  He sees Adam sitting alone with a ring box in hand and walks down to where he is sitting.  Charlie mentions something about his wife, and Adam asks, “How did you know she was the one?”  He replied, “Well, our very first kiss sealed the deal.  She sent my heart fluttering.  And for 39 years her kisses still make my heart flutter.”  Charlie inquires about the ring and if he is about to take the plunge.  After some back and forth conversation, Charlie asks Adam, “Are you confusing the knots with the flutters?”  Wow, it hit me like a ton of bricks!  Knots or Flutters… what a fine line!

What are knots?  Knots are entangled messes.  Knots are tight and woven pieces of our lives that rarely get sorted out.  A knot does not go anywhere; it stays put.  It binds a free flowing piece of material into an intersection of interlaced material.  Knots bind us… Knots restrict us… Knots prevent us from moving forward.

What are flutters?  Flutters are free flowing.  They are not binding.  They move freely and openly.  It makes me envision a butterfly, something beautiful that flutters so peacefully… something that gives us hope, makes us happy, and has a constant movement in our lives.  It does not bind us.  It does not restrict us.

Everyone deserves flutters!  We deserve a life that gives happiness and contentment.  Pricilla’s assistant, Wendy, always had feelings for Adam, but she was smart enough to walk away.  She never told Adam how she felt about him, because she knew he was planning on proposing to her boss.  What great dignity the woman had!  She would not chase him.  He had to come to her on his own terms.  Of course it is Hollywood, so we know how the story ends…  He ditches the bitch and goes to be with the woman that makes his heart flutter!  Now, I am cognizant of the fact that life doesn’t always turn out that way, but I believe that we should always be our best, and we should always strive for the best.  The one great thing I liked about the movie was that Adam wasn’t concerned about what everyone else thought…  He knew what made him happy.  He was willing to find his happiness, and more importantly, he was willing to ‘seek’ happiness, regardless of the cost.

That small serendipitous moment made me realize that we need to take an inventory of people in our life who cause us knots versus those that cause us flutters.

At one moment in the movie, they are talking about A Christmas Carol and the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future.  Wendy says to Adam, “What happens when tomorrow turns into the present and the future arrives?”  Wow… So profound!  I know so many people that cannot fix their past in order to move on to their future.  More importantly, they cannot face their present.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I believe it should be spent with loved ones and making memories for the future!  The past couple of months have been an interesting journey in my life, and some little angel put that movie on Netflix for me to push the “play” button.  It taught me something great to share with you as this year is coming to a close.  Get rid of the “knots” in your life… concentrate on the flutters… and know that as the year comes to a close, work on resolving your present circumstances, because tomorrow will turn into your present!

This is my last Motivational Monday Blog for 2013.  I am not sure when I will join you again, as I have decided to take some time to work on the knots in my own life, focus on my future that will become my present, restructure my professional life, and get back on the road traveling.

As 2013 comes to a close and a new chapter opens for 2014, I wish you all the best in your own lives.  Remember to do your part so that God can guide you into a life of blissful happiness!

I hope you get that “Christmas Kiss” that you have always dreamed of, and that it gives you the flutters you deserve!

EXERCISE FOR KNOTS AND FLUTTERS

Embrace the holidays.  Love those that choose to love you back, and make a plan to get rid of the knots in your life!

Laurie Calzada
-Author and Motivational speaker

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Where has Chivalry Gone?

Last week, I was travelling to Atlanta. Traditionally, I do not carry on my luggage because of the security hassles.  However, I was meeting someone at my destination, and I had a 2 ½ hour wait for them to arrive.  I could not pass through security to collect my luggage and reenter, so carry on it was!

While boarding a 7:00 AM flight in St. Louis, there were already four men standing in the aisle, chatting about the trip they were taking.  As I arrived at my seat, they stopped talking and wondered if I needed to pass through them to continue down the aisle.  I stated, “Oh, this is my seat here.”  Then, I proceeded to put my laptop case in the seat, lower the handle of my carry on, and lift it.  Immediately, I noticed the bin over my row was already full with these gentlemen’s luggage.  They had not even put it over their corresponding seats, so I turned around looking up and down the aisle.  I had to excuse myself in order to lift it over my head and their heads, so I could slide it into the nearest bin.  During this entire process, not one of them offered any assistance, and more interestingly, they all four stood in the aisle silently and watched me go through this process. 

As I took my seat, I shook my head and thought, “What on earth has happened to our society?” 

While buckling my seat, I giggled aloud as I reflected on a conversation a few months ago that I had with a male friend. I fondly refer to him as Eeyore, and he refers to me as Tigger.  We were out to dinner and Tango dancing, and he had picked me up at my place.  He is a southern gentleman, and a gentleman at that!  As he was opening my car door at the restaurant, I said “Thank you.  It is so nice to have your door opened.”  In his Eeyorish manner, he said, “It is women who killed chivalry in this country.”  Then, we got into a long conversation about it, and I can’t say I disagree with him.  He said you wouldn’t believe the weird looks he gets when he opens a door for a lady, pulls out her chair, pays for a meal, etc.  He told me an example about a woman he took to dinner as a friend, and they had a great conversation.  The next day, he sent her flowers to thank her for a lovely evening, and she was upset.   What?  Really?  OMG!

Therein lies the question, “What has happened to dating, courtship, and chivalry?”  Just last week, I had a female friend challenge me about not wanting “the company of a man.”  I have dozens of male friends of all walks of life: gay and straight, married and single, white collar and blue collar, old and young, short and tall, buff and skinny, etc.  If I need a night out, it only takes a call or two.  As with them, if they need a night out, I am there for them.  To all the single people out there: You don’t have to be on a date to be happy.  You have to be happy to find a good date!   Or course I would love to find my soul mate in life,as would everyone.  However, I don’t need to hunt him town… He will come to me when the time is right. 

To all you men that still believe in treating a woman like a lady, raise your hand PLEASE! 

To all you women out there who don’t like being treated like a lady, sit down and SHUT UP!

To all single people out there, work on yourself before you work on a relationship.  It will only enhance your experience when you find that “someone.”  Don’t just date to date.  Date to find your ultimate mate.

To all married or exclusive couples out there, cherish your relationship.  Treat your loved one with love and respect.  Remember to treat your loved one the way you want to be treated.  If you nag and complain about them, you will only get negative results.  Cherish what made you fall in love with them.

MEN: EXERCISE TO REVIVING CHIVALRY
The next time you see a woman trying to lift something, carrying something, or just walking through a door, don’t ask yourself “Should I offer to assist?”  Just do it! You may be the only person to touch her life that day.

WOMEN: EXERCISE TO HELPING US BRING BACK CHIVALRY
The next time a man opens a door, pulls out a chair, sends you flowers, or tells you how lovely you look, say “Thank You!” with great enthusiasm.  Don’t assume he wants something from you.  Assume he is giving something to you!

Remember, you have a choice to leave a fingerprint behind every day.  You choose if it is positive or negative.

Live with passion,

Laurie Calzada
Author and Motivational Speaker