Change Your Life… Create a Vision Board

Fairy Dust, does it work? No.  Vision Boards, do they work?  Yes! 

I am a true believer in the Law of Attraction.  It has been an integral part of my life.  When I was a small child being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused, I would lie in my bed at night and envision how I wanted life to be.  I would create these real life stories with characters, and I would play them over and over in my head. I was always amazed when many of the stories would come true.  Suddenly, I would be in a location that looked familiar; it was in my thoughts years before.  I would meet a person, and they looked or acted just like one of the characters in my head.  I would want something, and all of sudden a chain of events would happen, and it would be there in front of me. 

Later in life, I learned this phenomenon was called the “Law of Attraction.” As an adult, people have called me “lucky.”  Some people have called me “fortunate.”  Truly, I am just BLESSED!  It is real, and it is always in operation.  I use it daily.  And more amazingly, when I forget to use it, I see it work in reverse. 

So, if you can visualize things into your life, then why not create a Vision Board?  I love my Vision Board for many reasons.  It is a constant reminder of things for which I am grateful, as well as a vision of where I want my life to go.  When people have had all the circumstances in the world against them, I have seen a Vision Board change their lives. 

I could give you hundreds of examples of seeing the Visualization working in my life and in those around me.  I am not talking only about abstract thinking.  I am speaking of very specific situations. Last year, I had someone close to me write themselves a check for a large amount of money and put it in their desk drawer.  Six months later, they were offered an Executive Level position.  Guess how much the compensation package totaled?  You got it!  It was for the “EXACT” amount of money that was written on the check in their drawer.

Here are some common mistakes I see with people creating their Vision Board: 

• OBSESSION – I see some people make a big mistake with Vision Boards and Visualization.  They become obsessed with it.  They create their vision, and then get frustrated when it doesn’t come true.  They talk about it over and over.  They dwell on it.  They become so obsessed that it interferes with living their life.  To make Visualization and a Vision Board work for you and not against you, the key is to mediate on your vision for only a few minutes, and then release it into the Universe.  The Universe will figure out how to make it happen.  If you think about it every hour of every day, I can almost guarantee you that it will not come to pass.  You ask, “Why not?”  Well, it is because you are not releasing it in faith.  You are stressing and fretting over it, and it blocks God from doing what is necessary to make your life happen.
• GREED – I have seen first-hand that people create Vision Boards that are all money focused.  This is greed, not happiness.  You see, wealth is a balance of life that includes successful relationships, a healthy life, hobbies, life goals, careers, and yes- money.  I saw someone create a board once, and all it had was money items on it.  This person was so focused on getting out of debt, but also in getting more material possessions all at the same time.  That is a contradiction to the Universe.  Their board didn’t have anything about people or their own physical or spiritual health… just money issues.
• FRUSTRATION – I see this all too often!  As an example, this summer I spent a day and taught my munchkins how to create a Vision Board.  We made a day of it.  I took them to an office supply store, and they could pick out anything to make their boards.  They bought cork boards, picked out fun push pins that matched their rooms, chose boxes of colored pencils, and bought 2 magazines.  We had a blast!  Well, my 12 year old daughter absolutely loves Cody Simpson’s songs.  That was the first thing that went on her board.  She really wanted to go to a concert and meet him.  For the next several days, she only mentioned Cody Simpson.  She kept asking when it would come true.  I explained to her that she had become obsessed with it to the point that it won’t come true.  She has to release it and believe that one day she will meet him.  You have to be patience and just “Believe.”

One of my favorite stories is by John Asarff in the book, “The Secret”:

A Vision Board Example by http://www.catalogofdreams.com

In 1995 I started to create something called a Vision Board, where I take something that I want to achieve, or something that I want to attract, like a car or a watch or the soul mate of my dreams, and I put a picture of what I want up on this board.  Every day I would sit in my office and I would look up at this board and I would start to visualize.  I would really get into the state of having already acquired it.

I was getting ready to move.  We put all the furniture, all the boxes, into storage, and I made three different moves over a period of five years.  And then I ended up in California and bought this house, renovated it for a year, and then had all the stuff brought from my former home five years earlier.  One morning my son Keenan came into my office, and one of the boxes that was sealed for five years was right at the doorstep.  He asked, “What’s in the boxes, Daddy?”  And I said, “Those are my Vision Boards.”  He then asked, “What’s a Vision Board?”  I said, “Well, it’s where I put all my goals up.  I cut them out and I put all my goals up as something that I want to achieve in my life.”  Of course at five and a half years old he didn’t understand, and so I said, “Sweetheart, let me just show you, that’ll be the easiest way to do it.”

I cut the box open, and on one Vision Board was a picture of a home that I was visualizing five years earlier.  What was shocking was that we were living in that house.  Not a house like it – I actually bought my dream home, renovated it, and didn’t even know it.  I looked at that house and I started to cry, because I was just blown away.  Keenan Asked, “Why are you crying?”  “I finally understand how the law of attraction works.  I finally understand the power of visualization.  I finally understand everything that I’ve read, everything that I’ve worked with my whole life, the way I’ve built companies.  It worked for my home as well, and I bought our dream home and didn’t even know it.”

Now get to changing your own life!  Create a Vision Board…

EXERCISE FOR CREATING A VISION BOARD

Here are the steps to making a Vision Board work for you.  Collect your materials for your Vision Board.  You need:

1. A Cork Board
2. Push Pins
3. Pictures, Words, Magazines, etc.
4. Get into a room with your own thoughts and feelings.  Put on your favorite piece of music.
5. Start by putting the #1 most important thing that you already have in life on your board.  Put it right in the middle, and say “Thank You for….” as you put it there. 
6. As you put more items on your board, stop for one minute, close your eyes, and visualize how you would feel when it comes true.  For example, if you put a new house on your board, stop and visualize yourself walking through your house.  Visualize yourself at the Title Company closing on your house.  Visualize yourself moving into your house.  Visualize how it will look when you have finished moving into it.
7. After you get all of the items on your Board, put it where you can see it daily.
8. Every morning, pause for a moment and look over your board.  Pick a few things and mediate briefly on them, and then release them!  Go about your daily routine. 

Create a vision with passion!

Laurie Calzada

Author and Motivational Speaker

First Impressions Can be Toooooo Good!

One November evening years ago, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of retired executives and their spouses in Myrtle Beach.  At the end of the event, the hostess asked me if I would be willing to do a Q&A session.  I cordially stated that I would be delighted to conduct one, and the hostess opened the floor to the audience.

You have probably noticed I use stories of my children a lot when I write and when I speak.  Why?  Because I believe we can learn so much from the openness of our children.  They view the world with eyes wide open and fear so little.  As the questions started, there was one woman in the back row that asked me, “I noticed you talk a lot about your beautiful children, but you never mention the father.”  I answered, “Well, interesting you should ask. We are actually in the middle of a divorce, but it is a very amicable situation. Over the 12 years we were together, we became two ships in the night, headed in different directions.”  Then she proceeded to fire question after question at me such as: what business do you own, where do you live, and how much do you travel? The questions went on and on…

Finally, after several responses, the elderly woman next to her nudged her and exclaimed, “Martha, quit asking her so many questions!”  Martha didn’t miss a beat by replying in her deep southern accent, “Well, I just thought I might have a daughter-in-law here!”

Wow!  Now, there’s a first impression that was too good.  I had met this woman in a literal brief moment in time, and she was ready to marry me off to her son.

Every day, you make spontaneous decisions about people and circumstances.  Studies from NYU found within the first seven seconds of meeting someone, we make eleven major decisions about that person, both good and bad.  If that first impression is not a good impression, it can take numerous follow-up meetings to change a person’s perception.

Having spent most of my professional career in the training, coaching, and speaking world, I have met so many different types of people. Some days it is difficult when people are whining about their life to not want to say, “Look where I came from… suck it up!” However, I try to step back, look at their situation, and see it through their eyes.  When it is difficult to see it through a person’s eyes, then usually I find I need to walk away.  I truly believe that perception is the beholder’s reality, and if I can’t either see it as they would see it or try to assist in changing their perception, then often it is time to walk away.

Now, I know without a doubt that there have been negative impressions that I have left in my wake during my 44 years on earth.  However, I know there are thousands of positive impressions I have made, too.  You cannot be a “total you” without the evaluation of all aspects.  Over the years of owning multiple companies, I have interviewed hundreds of applicants for different positions, from receptionist to director level. I never believe in asking “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”  Rather, I believe in asking “In what areas do you excel, and what are your challenges with which you would like help?”  In other words, we ALL have challenges and hurdles to overcome… Yes, ALL of us.  Sometimes, people will state a weakness that is only a weakness in their own mind’s eye.

 

If you love what you do, and do what you love, people will know the instant they meet you that you are someone they want to associate with in their dealings, whether personally or professionally.

 

 

EXERCISE TO HONE IN ON YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION

 

Pick 5 people that admire you, and request a meeting or phone call with them. Ask them to mention the 5 things they admire about you the most.  Also, ask them to mention 2 or 3 challenges that perhaps you should consider.  Then, if you are truly committed to evaluating your first impression, request a meeting with two or more people that you have struggled with in your relationship, such as a boss, employee, friend, someone in a social setting, etc.  Ask them for two things they think are your strengths, and ask them for two things they view as  challenges in dealing with you.

Now, to do this, you have to have thick skin, take it seriously, and realize that this is to help you be a more well-rounded person. Several years ago, I had some people running my businesses that lied to me and stole from me.  After months of bitterness and anger, I went through this exact exercise myself.  I took over 10 people that I had issues with in my life and requested to meet for breakfast or lunch with them.  Do you know how many did it?  Only three… All of the others came up with excuses, and one emailed me stating, “I don’t want to meet you.  Just email me, because I am very curious in what you have to say.”  If she had been interested, she would have met me.  I kindly thanked them for their consideration and wished them luck.  The funny thing was, once I did this exercise, these people no longer crossed my mind or came across my path.  They were removed from my life as a barrier to my personal growth.  It was exhilarating!!!

You might be thinking why on earth should I put myself through the confrontation?  Believe me, it was difficult.  It took a humble spirit and a determined mind!  Why do it?  Because, in order for me to help others, I had to help myself first!  Going forward, I had evaluated my lessons learned, and I have found that my new first impressions would be a more positive fingerprint left on lives.

Live with passion, and always make a good first impression.

Laurie Calzada

LEARN BY LISTENING

I sit….

I listen….

I watch….

I ponder….

Voices are talking all around me.  One person is telling all the stories, and there are laughs by all.  There is never a moment of silence.  As I sit there quietly for about 15 minutes pondering the situation before me, this person continues to talk and talk.  Don’t get me wrong, she is very amusing.  This is the second time I have met her, and I realize she knows nothing about me. However, I know almost everything about her: her name, where she lives, what she does for a living, how many kids she has, how many pets she owns, the ages of her kids, what her spouse does for a living, what hours her spouse works, and even how she likes her hair cut!  I don’t think she knows my first name, let alone anything else about me.  She just talks and talks.  During this conversation, she did not ask one question to anyone.  It got me to thinking about something I teach in my Life Coaching sessions…

Remember, you never learn by talking… You learn by listening! 

Recently we watched the movie titled “A Thousand Words.”  It wasn’t an academy award winning movie, but it had an award winning message.  Eddie Murphy could only speak 1,000 words before he would die.  It was amazing the messages he could get across with 2 or 3 words, instead of using 2 or 3 paragraphs.

I related to it so well!  In my younger years, I would talk and talk.  Sometimes I had something to say, but other times I did not.  After years of coaching, I realized you learn nothing from talking. As a speaker and TV show host, I learned you impact perceptions by talking, but you actually become wiser by listening.

Have you ever sat at a table going, “Uh huh…. Oh…. Really”?  The last guy I dated was that way. Talk… talk… talk…. Sometimes it was informational, but most of it was complaining.  I felt exhausted afterwards, and it was unfulfilling.  After hours of conversation together, he had learned nothing about me.  He never asked, “How was your day?”, “How are the kids?”, or “What would you like to do?” I would walk away having learned a lot about him, though. Many times, I did not learn information that made me like him. Some of it actually made me dislike him.  I would listen, respond, and just smile.  Finally, I walked away… permanently.

Let’s address another scenario- the person that learns all the time… the person always listening.  That is sooooo my best friend.  We call her the “Great Mother Earth.”  She listens and digests information better than anyone I have ever met.  But, sometimes this is a disadvantage.  I remember one time early in our friendship we were out to dinner, and I stated, “Okay, enough about me.  Let’s talk about you.”  She shrugged and said something like, “Let’s not.”  I chuckle now, because we know each other’s deepest darkest secrets. Now when we get together, we balance our conversation well.  I want to learn as much about her as she wants to learn about me.

I am sure you can relate to these scenarios in life and work.  So, which one are you?  Are you the one that is learning, or are you the one talking?

Having owned eight businesses in 25 years, I have conducted tons of interviews with prospective job candidates.  I was always amused at the talkers.  Many times, I would get so bored with their rambling, that instead of writing notes, I would write… “one”… “two”… “three”…. I was jotting down a number each time they said a sentence.  I remember while interviewing one sales candidate, I got to 132 on just one question!   One-hundred thirty-two sentences before he shut up!  Needless to say, I wasn’t about to ask another question.  I didn’t have another 30 minutes for an answer!

So, what is the moral of the story? To shut up?  No!  The moral is to know when to talk and know when to listen.  Even more than listening, learn to read body language.  96% of communication is non-verbal.  Use it!  If you are talking and someone looks bored… The chances are they are!

Learn to listen, my dear friends…

EXERCISE TO LISTEN

Find a partner, a spouse, a friend, or a co-worker.  Make a commitment to work on being a 50/50 talker versus a listener.  Start out with Person A asking a question. Person B must answer in no more than 5 sentences.  Then have a brief interchange for 2-3 minutes. Next, Person B asks a question to Person A. Again, they must answer in no more than 5 sentences.  Then, have a brief conversation of 2-3 minutes with both people inputting information.  Keep doing this for 15-30 minutes.  Try to get together and do this at least once a week or more, if possible.  Like anything else in life, the more you practice this interpersonal skill, the better balanced you will become.

Your loved ones, children, spouses, parents, co-workers, boss and friends will thank you!

Live with passion, and learn to listen!!!

Laurie Calzada